So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
