Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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