Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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