if you like me you must not know who I am
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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