Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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