Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
