I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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