haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
