My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
