She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
