addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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