just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
