Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
