..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
ttyl tear gas
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
