why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
