its not stalking. its research.
my shit smells like andre
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
