whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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