38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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