Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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