I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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