I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You've changed since you got that strap on
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize