How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
