Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize