let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
