Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize