he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
