and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
