They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
