yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
