My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
