So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
