I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
