Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
