508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
