And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We had sex on a dog bed..
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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