You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
