you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize