I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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