White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize