I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Just pee around me
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
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