is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She bit a glass in half.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize