used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
