I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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