My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
