we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize