belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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