now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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