Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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