He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
