If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
