Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
