Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
