great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
