what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
