May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
