I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
