there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
