And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
