Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
