The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
