have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
